hello cat Funny Quotes: Funny sayings, quotations, picture quotes

Funny quotes by Sadhguru

Top 10 Funny Quotes

There are over hundred billion galaxies, not hundred billion stars; In such a huge vast cosmos our solar system is like a speck. Tomorrow morning if the whole solar system evaporates, nobody is going to miss it. In that super speck, right now Chennai is a micro super speck. In that you are a big man - that is the whole problem
There is no corruption in India, where is corruption in India? there is only Banditry
Whether I keep you half alive or you keep yourself half alive, whichever way- it's torture
Spirituality is not something you can do on the outside, in a temple, mosque, or church - it has to happen within yourself.
You don’t like faces, but you like the Facebook
Only because human beings are not living according to their human nature, they have to think up good things and they think of these good things which are unbearable for lots of people.
This is how life is happening for a lot of people. Because of the fear of instability, they sit on a bicycle with the stand on. You can pedal, you can get some exercise, but you are not going anywhere.
Actually the smartest thing about most people is their phone
“God loves me” is of no consequence - he has to love the mistakes that he makes
Religion is the arrogance of assuming things that you do not know.

Short + Funny quotes


Short Quotes
In the universities somehow the faces are longer; maybe it's the weight of knowledge or something.
Rat Race Winner- Still A Rat!
Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and making a mess of it?
If you do not get out of your shell, you are just a nut
There is no corruption in India, where is corruption in India? there is only Banditry
Actually the smartest thing about most people is their phone
You don’t like faces, but you like the Facebook
If you decorate your problem, you may not want to get rid of it.
People who claim that they are good people, usually they are boring.
The whole world is busy trying to teach everybody something that has not worked in their lives.
Belief is brainwashing; faith is about washing the brains
Philosophers are usually out-of-work men - not many women philosophers, isn't it? Out-of-work men have an explanation as to why they're out of work, so they keep churning up philosophies.
A lot of people believe Yoga started in California, I met someone who seriously believed it was Madonna who started Yoga
Schools are factories to manufacture certain kind of people, things got streamlined into assembly lines during industrialization, somebody thought children too should get into assembly lines
What the sword and the gun could not do, MTV is doing it.
Our Parents (generations) also wore torn clothes, but out of compulsion, now (youth) by choice
You get up in the morning & smile. Smile is not about somebody, Smile happens when you are feeling in a certain way, unless you are a trained PR person, otherwise smile happens because something is happening within you. It is a pleasant way to start your day
The first sign of psychological imbalance is you start thinking, ‘Nobody is okay.’
Today in the United States, Yoga means you must look like a leftover noodle
There is too much talk about heaven hell because too many people have made a hell out of themselves
Using yoga just as a therapy is like using an airplane as a bus
Smartness is in knowing our foolishness
[About breaking mental mold] Shell-breaking is very simple if the nut is willing
Bullshit can also get you to the top, but it never lets you stay there.
Lots of people have understood management as a way of throwing their weight around

Death + Funny quotes


Death Quotes
If you are going to make people around you joyful and relieved only when you die, that’s not a good way to live.
Before you and I came here on this planet, a countless number of people have walked on this planet, where are they? All topsoil. You will also be topsoil unless someone buries you real deep fearing you may rise from the dead
Death is not a negative thing, death is the only thing that has added value to your life. If you were here forever, you would be unbearable
People think teenage is problem, middle age is problem, old age is problem. What is not the problem? Only death.
You will see Shiva always sitting in the graveyard to tell you it is your mortality which makes you, If want to know what is the nature of your existence, You really want to know where you came from, where you will go only when it sinks into you, all this drama, one day it will end but right now you think only others appear in obituary columns & you read em
A whole lot of people are carrying grave faces as if they are practicing the final posture. Time we work towards life, not death. Because when it comes to death, everybody is a Natural Star.
What you call as “myself” is just a pop-up on this planet and it will pop out one day
Don't be dead now. That time will come. Now is the time to be alive
The moment you are born, you have a death sentence upon you. When, where and how is the only question. Your death is confirmed.
Most people go about their lives as if death is not going to happen to them
When it comes to death, everyone is a Natural Star
Don’t be dead serious about your life. Seriousness will bring the quality of Death while alive.

God + Funny quotes


God Quotes
It’s easier to love God because it’s always easy to love somebody who is not here now, it’s so easy. But if you have to love somebody who is sitting next to you right now, it costs life
Since you are a human, your imagination of God is a huge man, If you were a buffalo you would be really thinking God is a huge buffalo, may be four horns
The planet is round & you are sitting in Chennai, and the damn planet is spinning, so if you look up (towards Heaven/ God), you are invariably looking up in the wrong direction. isn't it?
“God loves me” is of no consequence - he has to love the mistakes that he makes
If you are a believer, you know your God is waiting for you when you die, why don't you go? why are you delaying your progress towards God by going to hospitals? It is because you are not a true believer
It doesn't matter which religion, which nonsense you belong to, the moment you get God's stamp on what you believe in, that's it, you don't have to apply your intelligence and see what you are doing with life
Such problems (whether God is a man or a woman) exist only in some cultures. In India we have man God, we have woman God, we have cow God, we have monkey God, Crawling one, creeping one, flying one, because we foresaw all the problems in the future
If you want your life to run according to your agenda you better take your life into your hands, If you don’t mind going by God’s agenda that’s fine but that’s not true. Even if you go to the temple you are going there only to advise God what he should do today, if he’s seeking advice from you and running this planet I don’t want to be here
If you want to love one human being, it costs life. To love the whole humanity, it doesn’t cost anything. It’s even better to love God because it’s always easy to love somebody who is not here now
If you have a philosophy, you can go on doing the same thing every day, not thinking about anything. Especially If you get God's stamp on your philosophy, you don't have to turn back and look, you can just go on doing the same stupid things endlessly
Why is it nobody said, ‘God is intelligence’? People are saying ‘God is love, God is this, God is that’ all these things we are capable of. An intelligence beyond ourselves is what our problem is, Even a dog is very loving. Not just God; If you pay attention to the creation, you will see, whatever is the source of creation – it’s intelligence is unbeatable

Life + Funny quotes


Life Quotes
Our presence here is just for a short period of time. We do not have to shorten it by fighting each other
Once you have a child it’s a twenty year project. That is if they do well, if they don’t do well it’s a lifelong project
Whether I keep you half alive or you keep yourself half alive, whichever way- it's torture
Is there some aspect of life that human beings are not suffering? If they are poor they suffer their poverty. You make them affluent they suffer that. If they are uneducated they suffer that. If you make them educated they suffer that. If they are unmarried they suffer that. You get them married.. If they don’t have children they suffer that. If they have..
A Bishop once visited a Yogi & asked him 'What is Life?', the Yogi closed his eyes became very blissful & said 'Life is like the fragrance of Jasmine on the spring breeze', the Bishop said 'No, No, our pope has said life is like a thorn, we must renounce it', Yogi smiled & said 'Well, that's his Life'
If you jump off a tall building You will see it will be very blissful till you hit the ground, ignorance is bliss till you get smashed. In that small period it's wonderful
If you get a headache, go for a foot surgery - then the foot will be aching more than the head - kind of fixed (this is how some people are handling situations)
You would be naturally, one hundred percent pleasant within yourself if you make yourself the way you want yourself to be. Without doing that, you had no business to get married, if you ask me. At least one life could have been saved
[About Cloning] There is a pleasurable way of creating children, I don’t see why you’re wasting billions of dollars in a laboratory. I am only talking about when still women are able to bear children. it doesn’t matter what you call it, you’re just producing a human body which is alive - means the life process is there with all the ingredients
Do not try to conduct the life process itself with willpower because you will become a long successful face. Ulcer in your stomach, success in your bag, face so long nobody wants to see it or your chin will be scraping on the Hyderabad roads. Not good
People say love is in the air, no. Because you are feeling very pleasant in your emotions, suddenly air feels vibrant. It always been, you missed it all your life, now you’re beginning to feel it.
The most important thing that’s happening to you right now is life itself, not the fancy thoughts you have, not the emotions you have, not financial arrangements, nor family or whatever rubbish you have built around you- these are accessories to life, these are all frills. Frills are so much you’re missing the skirt, that’s the whole problem with you
There is no one moment of ease, simply. These structured societies where you have house mortgage which is for thirty years, a car mortgage which is for ten years, an education loan which is twenty two years - you got a life term. You’re doing your time in an open prison.
Only miserable people will have a long life, because if you are miserable you will always feel life is too long that you will want to cut it short.
If all the insects on the planet die, life on this planet has a little more than twenty years before everything disappears. If the worms on this planet die tomorrow morning., the life upon this planet has only eight years left. But if you and I disappear, the planet will flourish
If you’re a joyful, ecstatic person life is always brief, if you live to be 100 it’s still very brief. For what possibilities a human being carries, for the immensity of what a human being is – it’s too brief a life. If you’re given 200 years, still brief, it'll be over before you explore a few dimensions of life, Only miserable people have a very long life
I appreciate the Enterprise in the idea of heaven. It's the best start-up ever! But unfortunately, it has denied human beings the possibility of experiencing Life in its full depth & dimension
Most people have not paid any attention to life because they're busy conquering the world
Time is a very relative experience in individual subjective experiences; if you are joyful if you live 100 years it feels like a few moments, it is gone; only miserable people will have a long life.
Life doesn't happen 100% the way you want it, When you are a student 60-70% of life happens your way, when you get married the percentage gets reversed
All your friends are doctors. Why? Because you have a certain understanding of what it is; you like to mix with them, you don’t like to go and be friends with lawyers because their talk is different; you like to create your own kind, isn't it, around you? It’s just the same with me. I am so blissed out; I want to create my own kind as many as possible
If you're 100% alive it's fantastic to be alive, if you're dead- it's good at least for others, but if you're half alive it's torture
Life is a dream, but the dream is true
The time that you spend here as life it’s a very relative experience. If you’re truly joyful and ecstatic, it’s horribly brief, believe me. I feel like I was born day before yesterday, see already how I have become (points at his white mustache)

All Funny Quotes

How many varieties of suffering human beings have invented for themselves is absolutely incredible. Actually you could find employment in hell, because if you are so good at torturing yourself, you could be very good at torturing other people.
If you learn to laugh at your own stupidity, all your crap will turn into manure very fast. And manure is good for growth
Loosen up a bit – laugh more, get involved with people around you, do simple things. If you only do very important things, you will become dead serious
When people are alone, they become spiritual. When in company, they become religious
I don’t see any criminals. All I see is, every human being is in pursuit of his happiness. The man whom you call as a criminal is also in pursuit of his happiness. Only thing is he is pursuing his happiness far more vigorously than you
You people are cutting people’s bodies; this is like murder but with good intention. If the consequence is good it's called a surgery, if consequence is bad it's called a murder, isn't it? Same knife.
You don’t have to talk about marriage and divorce in same breath as if they come together. This is a completely American idea
When you were 3-4 years of age you’re 100% for marriage, not yours your parents', again when you become 45-50 again you’re 100% for marriage, but between 18-35 you’re questioning the whole process. Because where the physical body is dominant, at that time if you give in to that then it will question every institution
There’s an enormous possibility on Facebook, you can even love those people who don’t even exist
Because you have made a mess out of your adulthood, you are aspiring for your childhood, I think adulthood is great
You cannot rise in love, you cannot stand in love, you cannot fly in love, you have to fall. Something of you should fall, otherwise it will not work. You will not know it.
Gurus & Beards: Beard does not grow on just Gurus, it grows on all men, But they are all doing all kinds of funny things with it – you must ask them why are they doing it.
If your mind took instructions from you, would you keep it stressful or blissful? Blissful. For yourself definitely it's blissfulness. What you want for your neighbor may be debatable but what you want for yourself is definitely highest level of pleasantness
Do you know what it takes to remain uneducated? Education is just twenty years of going somewhere and getting one certificate. To remain uneducated, it’s very difficult because from the day you’re born, your parents, every other adult, the school – everybody is trying to educate you about something that’s not worked in their life
Is there anybody who is not a philosopher? everybody has a philosophy for whatever they're doing, just go to the drunkard on the street & ask him 'why are you drinking like this?' he has a solid philosophy as to why he's drinking, you stop a thief & ask him 'why are you a thief?' he's got a solid philosophy as to why he's a thief.
Fear means you’re producing horror movies in your mind. Tch.. Nobody else is willing to watch. That’s bad for the producer, but you are producing them. So, you produce something else - produce a comedy, a love story..
Sun came up on time today morning. None of the planets in this solar system collided today. In the whole universe no accidents, in this endless cosmos no accidents, everything going great but you have one nasty little thought crawling in your head and it's a bad day, you’ve completely lost perceptive with life
When heaven-sellers lose the market, the drug-sellers will gain. In this cusp, making Humanity Conscious enough to experience nameless ecstasies of one’s interiority is the challenge of our times
When it comes to animal husbandry, we’re thinking of breeding right, as human beings why are we not thinking of breeding right? Because we are too identified with our own body. “It’s mine” is more important than what’s right
You go into your schoolhouse & tell them A+B=Z.. children will crawl under the table and disappear, well if earth is soft they will dig a tunnel and go away, that is why they fixed concrete floors, but you tell them a story they will burrow themselves from their homes and come and pop up and sit here
The whole art of being a Guru is just this: to constantly puncture people’s ego and still manage to remain their friend.
In marriages, there are divergent expectations. The woman expects the man to change. The man expects the woman to never change
You have entangled yourself in such a way, even if the most significant things happen you can't change the direction of your life, If the greatest things came your way, you cannot change the direction of your life. This is a slave’s life
An intelligent person knows that he is a fool but a fool does not know that he is a fool
There are all kinds of idiots on the planet, but the so-called religious and spiritual idiots take the cake anywhere in the world.
There are no good people and bad people. Everyone is oscillating between the two. But for sure there are the Intelligent and the Idiotic.
Confused people are better than people who have drawn wrong conclusions, because people who have drawn wrong conclusions go at it with full gusto. Confused people hesitate to fight.
If human beings disappeared from the planet, the world would be very peaceful. If you don't create conflict, there is peace.
The nations of the world talk about peace only when they are at a disadvantage. When they are at an advantage, they talk about war and aggression.
Someone else's belief system looks absolutely ridiculous to you, but they are laughing at your belief system too.
From poverty to affluence is a hard journey. After making this hard journey, if we cannot live well and instead suffer our affluence, it is a tragedy. We might as well have suffered our poverty - at least it would have been eco-friendly
[About Sexuality] First thing, you make something which is so simple and basic into right and wrong. Then you want to find a philosophy to subvert the wrong and still have it.
The scale of violence that can happen today has happened because the best brains in the world have cooperated with this, The best brains in the world have worked to create the most violent ways to kill humanity. If the intelligent in the world had not cooperated, the violent man would kill one or two, with a stick or a stone or something
A criminal is also concerned about human well-being, but his idea of humanity is just himself. Somebody's idea of humanity is him and his family; somebody else's idea of humanity is him and his country; somebody else's includes the whole world. Everybody is concerned about human well-being in different proportions.
[About Religious Clashes]Religion should have made people Divine, but it is not even making them human.
Why would you smoke? Your body is not that kind of machine which smokes. These days we are even working hard to design automobiles that don't smoke
Do you know that you will also die? (I'm asking) because most people believe that other people die. Intellectually they know, but they think they are forever.
Those who think women cannot be leaders are not married.
Parenthood is a very funny thing. You're trying to do something that nobody has ever known how to do well
People suffer what happened ten years ago, and they suffer what may happen the day after tomorrow already.
Two greatest faculties that human beings have are- A fantastic & vivid memory and an absolutely wonderful imagination, these only a human being has, (but unfortunately) you (have) started suffering them. So what you are saying is- evolution has made a mistake
Whenever things don't happen the way you want them to happen, there is a temptation to think and name it as destiny, because this is a way of dealing with failure, this is not destiny, just cheap psychiatry
Nature has evolved us to a higher level of intelligence and awareness, but we are refusing to accept the promotion
Ignorance has no gender, race or religion. Absolutely secular
The family is an example of how you can turn anything that is created for your wellbeing into a disadvantage.
Ancient societies always saw disease as something wrong. But modern societies are treating disease as normal.
Whenever a nasty thing happens, it's Mr. Ego. Mr Ego is a non-existent person. You cannot fix a non-existent person
To love the person who is next to you is the biggest challenge. To love somebody who is not here is always easy
I feel the youth of today should get little more in terms of physical activity, (if this continues) maybe after sometime only two thumbs will remain, because the only thing they do is text
The heavens that people have imagined are such lousy places that I would never want to go there.
If something happens, something entirely went wrong & no way to fix 2 people and they went apart, that’s unfortunate, but why should you ever talk about marriage and divorce in one breath? It’s a crime to think on those lines. But if it so happens & they have to separate that will any way inevitably happen. You don’t have to plan it at the time of wedding
When everybody’s striving to live joyfully, if you are walking on the street infecting people with misery with a miserable face it must be on the penal code, You are working against humanity. If you walk on the street with a miserable face you are actually sabotaging the fundamental aspiration of human beings
What is my mission? Do you want to bring peace to the world? I just want to live in better company
People are capable of suffering just about anything in the world, If you’re not educated, you will suffer that. If you get educated, you suffer that. If you don’t find a job, you’ll suffer that. If you find a job, you suffer that. If you’re not married, you’ll suffer that. If you get married, you suffer that. If you don’t have children, you suffer that..
When I first came to United States, one word I was hearing everywhere is, ‘stress management.’ I could not understand this because in my mind, we manage things which are precious to us - our family, our wealth, our business and whatever else which is valuable to us. Why would anybody want to manage stress, is something I couldn’t get for some time time
Unfortunately, if you utter the word Yoga, people think you have to be in some impossible posture, Yoga is not about postures, it is just a minuscule aspect of it, Yoga means in your experience everything has become one. The Word Yoga means Union
There are only two kinds of people in the world, mystics and mistakes. If your perception has made a mistake you're a mistake. If your perception has gone beyond the mistakes and beginning to see life just the way it is then you are a mystic
People whom you consider corrupt, when I really looked through them, I see their reasoning. They don’t think they’re corrupt. they just say everybody would do the same thing. 'I got the opportunity, they don’t have the opportunity. So they are only complaining that they don’t have the opportunity'.
There is a distance between possibility and reality. Definitely it's a great possibility. We are sitting on the threshold but do not underestimate our ability to goof things up
We have a phenomenal ability to goof up things because we are too much genius with very little organization.
Suppose you fall in love with somebody, your heart becomes sweet. But for how long? there is no guarantee. It can become extremely bitter, because of a love affair, because of situations or disease or death or loss or simply because of boredom. The person that you thought was most exciting,after a few years you look at them & wonder -‘did I do this mistake'
(On Soul Mates) Body needs a mate, understandable, mind needs a mate to some extent. The soul if it needs a mate, it's a lost soul
When you identify yourself with an ideology or a belief system; slowly your brain is turning into a concrete block. Calcification is happening, that’s why we call you a bonehead; How efficiently it happens depends on the efficiency of the preacher or the teacher. If he is very efficient, you will be a solid block where nothing goes in, nothing goes out
More conflict is happening within the four walls of the homes than is happening anywhere on the planet. Only thing is bombs are not exploding so you don't hear it. They may be giving each other silent treatment.
These righteous people are always a trouble. Once you have a strong set of morals, you will see nobody in the world is all right. If nobody in the world is okay, you have a psychological problem.
Ten years ago if somebody was walking on the street talking you would know that he’s lost it, but today you don’t know. Whether they got their head phones on or they just lost it and they’re talking, we cannot make out
Hell & Heaven are not geographical places, Hell & Heaven are what you make out of yourself. There is too much talk of heaven because too many people have made Hell out of themselves
We have to be alive to it every moment and as the context changes, what we do has to change. Morality and mortality are not very different.
So morality is just that it's the first step towards insanity. You just have to stretch it; if you stretch it, you will go there
It is difficult to love someone who is next to you right now, it is easy to love someone who is dead or who is in heaven. Because if you have to love one, you have to give up something that is you, to accommodate another, otherwise it will not happen.
So whatever can be done with ease, if you do it with great difficulty, that means you are a fool
There is a negative connotation to gossip, but forever, nobody believed the official version. They always checked their own sources; it has always been a reliable form of communication; but today with all this technology, gossip has gone global
Wrong sense of intelligence has entered people's minds, they think if they make a problem out of every solution they're intelligent, no no, if you find solutions for every problem- that is intelligence
The only reason why you are cutting your hair into various shapes and forms is because there is no pain in it. If there was no pain in your nose – in the name of fashion you would have cut it into many shapes by now. Suppose there was no pain in your whole body, you would have taken your intestines out and go swinging it in the air on the streets
We don’t take care of what happens within an individual human being, so we try to police the society. It is in some way you are turning the whole world into a prison. Everything is heavily policed as so-called civilization happens, terribly policed.
They say marriages are made in heaven. It is just that some people turn it into hell.
Suppose your right hand gets up and does funny things and smashes you, pokes your eyes , do you have an ailment or no? Yes, For sure you have. That’s exactly what your mind is doing, isn't it? It gets up, pops around, hurts you, pokes you, makes you cry, makes you suffer - do you have an ailment or no?
Today's temples, many of them are built like shopping complexes, probably for the same purpose
You want to be loved because you feel incomplete. Otherwise, being loved can be quite a nuisance
I always found people coming out of restaurants have more joy on their faces than those coming out of a temple or church. What a shame that a dosa can do something more than the divine
People who are moralistic are always looking archaic for the new generation of people, They wonder why these people are still alive. Because you look like you are from somewhere else.
These days people are on self-help, they manufacture their diseases, they don't wait for any infection to happen
If your ignorance doesn't make you suffer, then what's the use of me? It takes a lot to come out of the trap of ignorance
Language is a kind of a conspiracy between two people, it’s a widespread conspiracy
A Guru is someone who dispels the darkness in you. You can call him a light bulb if you want.
You know, this is India. Hospitality means you must eat two people's food, not one!
Everybody who breathes on this planet must plant a tree... If you are such a yogi that you don't breathe, or you are dead and you don't breathe, then we can leave you alone.
Never do unto others what you do unto yourself - until you become a blissful human being
My weight has not varied more than two kilograms since I was 25 years of age to this day, I have been seventy-four, seventy-five since I was twenty-five. It's just that little from my shoulder, it slipped little down. It was all on my shoulder, now kind of going towards the earth
For thousands of years.. The largest exports were from India for many thousands of years. Nobody ever thought of exporting in such large quantities. So both with goods and gods, we’ve been very good, We can export both, we don’t have to import either. We’re very good both with goods and gods.
If you torture yourself and everyone around you enough, you may get employment in hell.
[About seeing Yoga used a fix for physical problems] A man who knows what it means to fly will cry when he sees an Airplane with chopped out wings
There are only two kinds of people in the world - Mystics and Mistakes.
If Americans tear their trousers everybody tears, Americans wear their pants down in their seat everybody does the same thing, Americans drink carbon dioxide, everybody does that. So I thought if we can get America to meditate, the world will meditate
I heard people talking about stress management, I couldn't get it. In my understanding, we only manage things that are precious to us, we manage our family, money, businesses.. it took me a while to understand that people have made a conclusion that stress is a part of their lives
The way people are living today, I would say, never do unto others what you do unto yourself
We (India as a nation) are sitting on the threshold, but do not underestimate our ability to goof things up.
I want to see the business community more joyful because joyful people are more generous, sensible, and flexible, and always more life-oriented. It is very important that they are more peaceful and joyful within themselves by their own nature - not because of the quarterly balance sheet.
A certain segment of the people have always been essentially violent. Whether he was a caveman or later on, Bronze Age, Iron Age, whatever you take, he has always been violent. Initially, when he was a caveman he killed with stone, that's Stone Age. Iron Age means he killed with iron; Bronze Age means he killed with bronze. Nuclear Age means he kills nuclear
Human beings are not an endangered species, If you were a tiger I'd say please reproduce, there are plenty of us humans
Today, education scientists around the world are saying if a child goes through twenty years of formal education, seventy percent of his intelligence is irrevocably destroyed. That means you're coming out as a knowledgeable idiot, and that's a huge disservice to humanity.
Outside the Dhyanalinga, we have set up a big bull. The message is very clear, 'You must leave your "bull" outside and then go
Statecraft means to be suspicious of everybody in the world.
Unfortunately people see smile as a divine quality, smile is a human quality, human beings who have lost it have transported their joys to heaven
The problem with every generation is that the previous generation thinks the next generation is all confused
I will make you the king or queen of this planet; will you remain fulfilled? Don’t look at me hopefully, I will not make such a blunder, I am only saying. If you become the king or queen of this planet, will you be fulfilled? No. You will look at the stars
Only Indian gods dance. If they fall in love, they dance. If they get ecstatic, they dance. If they get angry, they dance.
Memory is like a treadmill. It gives you a lot of exercise, never takes you anywhere
People who are leaders in the world, people who are committed to creating well-being for people, usually a friendless, great artists are friendless, geniuses are friendless scientists are friendless, but the worst of the criminals have the best of friends
Everybody who is a mistake is a potential mystic. If you're not a mistake then you're a lost case, you're a fanatic. You think you're absolutely right on everything, you’ve become fanatical. If you know that you're a mistake then you're a potential mystic
One who is constantly making U-turns obviously does not want to go anywhere
Infectious ailments happen to us because of an external invasion from an organism. You must go to the doctor, don't try to meditate on it
Physically & mentally the next generation that's coming up now seems to be much weaker than the previous generations, especially physical strength, I'm not talking about you being a muscle man, but this is weakening of the species, which is dangerous, maybe after sometime only two thumbs will be living because the only thing they do is text
Suppose you lost your peace today, what happens? You go home and yell at somebody. If it continues you pick a quarrel with your neighbor tomorrow. If it continues, day after tomorrow you go to your office & yell at your boss. The moment you yell at your boss, everybody knows that you need medical help. When you yelled at your wife they thought it's normal
If your emotions are pleasant, if somebody comes, you can share that pleasantness with them. If your emotions are unpleasant, for sure you’ll share that with people, you cannot do something that you are not. If this is feeling pleasant now, it will naturally be pleasant to everything. If this is feeling unpleasant right now, it will be nasty to everything
Human beings are capable of love if they are willing. Dog is capable of love. When human beings fail, you get yourself a dog. If you get a dog, twelve-year guaranteed love affair. Yes. Don’t underestimate this. You get yourself a dog, every day you come home, what a welcome you get
Today, everything in the cosmos is happening perfectly well, but you have one nasty thought crawling in your head and it feels like a bad day
(In old generation) You had one love affair when you were 18 years of age. You thought this is your life and you were willing to die for it; whether you died for it or not but at least at that time you thought you’ll die for it, Today on Facebook they have 22 love affairs going simultaneously. It just means nothing
Even now, for 98% of the population in Nepal, going to the temple and seeking their mukti is still the highest thing in their mind, which is largely lost in India. Mukti is not the highest thing in India; going to America is the highest thing.
If you sit here as a living being, everything is complete; if you sit here as a bundle of thoughts, emotions and rubbish; if you sit here as just a psychological being you are a case
If you arrange sounds in a certain way, it will become noise. If you arrange sounds in a different way, it will become music. There’s whole lot of noise passing as music right now
Many things [Love Affair] that don't workout in youth, you will see they were great blessings when you grow up
Nothing wrong in being a mistake, but not realizing the mistake is the biggest mistake.
People who have everything, they suffer much more deeply than people who don't have anything.
Friendship is a very very essential quality if you want to be in crime, if you don't have loyal friends you will not succeed in crime
[About his Mission] I just want to live in a wonderful world, not with miserable people, so I'm trying to add some company
Most people understand complexity as intelligence, if they make themselves difficult they are supposed to be intelligent, making a simple thing difficult is not intelligence, making a very complex thing simple is intelligence
Political parties should not have membership, (if you do) you just formed a new religion
Edison's bulb has made us creatures of day and night.
The only thing that needs to be fixed on this planet is human beings. Everything else is fine. Isn’t it so?
If anybody opens their eyes & simply looks unprejudiced at the world, you will see the only species which needs to be fixed & contained right now is human species. We need to make some drastic changes with them. Otherwise, they are going to finish this off. They are not only going to finish one, they’re aiming for the whole solar system
When the entire population of the world attains enlightenment, I'll retire and play golf every day
This is the problem with us - to conduct the outside we call the divine, to conduct the inward we try to go at it logically; both won't work for us.
From the day you are born, all kinds of people are trying to teach you something that has not worked in their life.
I'm sure my parents were very concerned when I was growing up (of changing social norms). I was not so concerned when my girl is growing up because she looked like she is a generation behind me compared to how I grew up. So it was pretty nice and safe
When somebody else calls you a fool, it becomes an insult. But when you realize that you’re a bloody fool, it's a sign of intelligence. May you become a wonderful & joyful fool
Shall I tell you a secret? Buy yourself an Oxford dictionary, everything I'm saying is already there
Today if the western nations open up their visa procedures, eighty percent of the Indians will swim across the oceans and go away. Or in other words you are holding over eight hundred million people within the borders of your nation forcefully. Well, that’s a prison; that’s not a nation.
Are you preparing for a university or the universe? That's where you have to live, unless you want to become an academic.
There is nothing wrong you can even love a beast, nothing wrong as long as you are protected from him as long as he's caged or he is far away a beast is romantic, but from proximity..
The simplest way to make you keep coming back to me is to give you something that you cannot do, to give you a teaching which you can never do.
Your ability to experience something is inversely proportional to the amount of knowledge that you have gathered about it.
The problem with every generation is that the previous generation thinks the next generation is all confused, it's not true, it is just that the older generation is not able to come to terms with the new possibilities that the next generation is exhibiting
It is good to take some time off for sadhana. Without your activity, the world will not end
You know and want Joy, but.. to kick that butt you need a yogi
Language is a conspiracy between two people. If I make certain sounds, you understand it in a certain way. If there is someone else who does not understand this particular language, he will just gape at the whole thing. As far as he is concerned, I am just making meaningless noises all the time.
Unpleasantness is happening to you in the form of fear, anger, stress, anxiety.. because you basic faculties like- body, mind, energy, emotion are not taking instructions from you. They are doing their own thing, as if they don't belong to you
A Guru creates his personality in such a way that people don't know whether to love it or to hate it.
If you're seeing everything just the way it is, you are a mystic in the world's eyes. If there is large mistakes in your perception, you're a mistake
Most of the time, (because of travels) I'm eating in somebody's home. So I have to eat to their satisfaction, not to my health.
Questioner: Are there ghosts? Sadhguru: You're a ghost with a body. Why are you so prejudiced against those who have lost their bodies
Family is not like your Facebook family of 10,000 - where if there is someone you don't like, you click him out.
One handful of Tamil soil is said to contain more microorganisms than entire human population. I wish they had voting rights! May the Tamil people join "Cauvery Calling" to save this invaluable soil & rivers.
We were not taken by a nation (Britain), we were taken by a business, it sounds ridiculous, but it is real
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